Can you handle the Tiger?
Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 6:30 am
The bad thing about smart phones is the potential for ordering stuff online when you've had a few adult beverages. We had a bonfire with my brother and sister's families last weekend, and somehow we got on the subject of energy drinks. My brother went on and on about this energy drink he and the guys in his unit drank in Iraq . . . and, lo and behold, they sell it on Amazon. 
They tried to bring a few cases back with them but it was impounded by customs. I guess Amazon can get around that somehow.
So, what should appear at my doorstep yesterday but a case of Wild Tiger energy drink. We're saving it for our Thanksgiving get together. The best part of the product thus far are the hilarious reviews on Amazon, which is why I'm posting this thread.
Some examples are:
"Note- tastes slightly different without a lid full of sand. Heat to 120 degrees for the full authentic experience."
"Wild Tiger is the combat proven liquid energy grenade that allows soldiers to see sounds (!!) Stay awake for 3 days (without the inconvenience of blinking!!!) smell explosives (and beat them into submission!). Tastes like you're drinking acid, but once the pain fades you will know the power of a GOD. Beware the can does warn "Pregnants and persons sensitive to caffeine" to keep their weakness away, lest they be destroyed in the transformation process."
"Makes Red Bull seem suitable as formula for infants."
"Wild Tiger is a thing of beauty. Red Bull might give you wings, but this stuff will give you god-damned rocket engines."
"Your kids will run so fast people will think they're Kenyans, in a race against actual Kenyans they'll come in first and get deported back to Kenya."
They tried to bring a few cases back with them but it was impounded by customs. I guess Amazon can get around that somehow.So, what should appear at my doorstep yesterday but a case of Wild Tiger energy drink. We're saving it for our Thanksgiving get together. The best part of the product thus far are the hilarious reviews on Amazon, which is why I'm posting this thread.
Some examples are:
"Note- tastes slightly different without a lid full of sand. Heat to 120 degrees for the full authentic experience."
"Wild Tiger is the combat proven liquid energy grenade that allows soldiers to see sounds (!!) Stay awake for 3 days (without the inconvenience of blinking!!!) smell explosives (and beat them into submission!). Tastes like you're drinking acid, but once the pain fades you will know the power of a GOD. Beware the can does warn "Pregnants and persons sensitive to caffeine" to keep their weakness away, lest they be destroyed in the transformation process."
"Makes Red Bull seem suitable as formula for infants."
"Wild Tiger is a thing of beauty. Red Bull might give you wings, but this stuff will give you god-damned rocket engines."
"Your kids will run so fast people will think they're Kenyans, in a race against actual Kenyans they'll come in first and get deported back to Kenya."