Phoenix Suns to replace Gorilla mascot with a Rodeo Clown

[Superbone]

New Times
Phoenix, Arizona
April 1, 2025

The Phoenix Suns are in the process of replacing their beloved gorilla mascot with a rodeo clown. A Phoenix representative told the New Times that a gorilla was a silly idea from the beginning and didn't represent the City of Phoenix in any way other than maybe a little representation at the Phoenix Zoo. Our reporter reached out to the zoo gorillas but they had no comment and proceeded to beat him to death. Rest in peace, Johnny Golightly.

The Suns representative went on to say, "We just think a rodeo clown better represents our product on the floor and also gives that Southwestern flavor. The Suns have been known to hang with opposing teams for up to a quarter of basketball before getting embarrassed the rest of the way. A rodeo clown better represents that. When you watch bull riding, those cowboys can only hang on for so long before getting thrown. Then the comic relief can come in and cheer up the crowd. We think this will go a long way to improving the in-game experience. Currently, it's a real shame to see little kids leaving the arena crying due to their team getting embarrassed on a nightly basis. This will bring a little laughter and hopefully provide some smiles to these poor little bastards and their families."

Due to this positive change, the Suns will be increasing ticket prices an average of 25% for the 2025-2026 season.

https://obviouslymadeupwebsite.newtimes.com/aprilfools

[The Bobster]

I hope they saved the uniforms from this promotion.

[Superbone]

I hope they saved the uniforms from this promotion.

Wait...that was really a thing?

[AmareIsGod]

[AmareIsGod]

[The Bobster]

I hope they saved the uniforms from this promotion.

Wait...that was really a thing?

Yep - they Northern AZ Suns had a game where they played as the Rodeo Clowns before Sarver sold them off.

https://arizonasports.com/nba/phoenix-s ... s/1760108/

[The Bobster]

[Superbone]

I hope they saved the uniforms from this promotion.

Wait...that was really a thing?

Yep - they Northern AZ Suns had a game where they played as the Rodeo Clowns before Sarver sold them off.

https://arizonasports.com/nba/phoenix-s ... s/1760108/

And here I thought I had made it up. The wonders never cease.

[JeremyG]

Wait, did you write that yourself? That was great, the Onion should hire you!

[Mori Chu]

LOL. Robot would have enjoyed this thread. He was the king of these kinds of posts.

[Uncle_Gene]

April Fools !!

[Superbone]

Wait, did you write that yourself? That was great, the Onion should hire you!

Thanks, man!

[Superbone]

LOL. Robot would have enjoyed this thread. He was the king of these kinds of posts.

I thought of Robot while I was writing it.